06 / 07 · THE JOURNAL
Never Let Go Of The Hand Of The Child You Once Were
A Mirror, a Grandma, and a promise carried into adulthood.
“Never let go of the hand of the child you once were.”
My Grandma gave me those words when I was a child.
Whenever I had been disciplined unfairly by my Mother, she would quietly lead me to a Mirror. She would ask me to place my hand against the hand in the reflection, look at the child staring back at me and repeat those words aloud.
That Mirror now hangs in my home.
I inherited it after my Grandma passed away, but the reflection still carries her voice.
Her words remind me to remain close to the child I once was, to curiosity, adventure, instinct and expression before unnecessary boundaries began to close in. They remind me not to become so burdened by adulthood that I forget how to play, explore and experience the simple wonder of being alive.
I understand my Mother differently now. I love her for everything she did, everything she tried to do and even the things she could not do. I love the child still living within her, too.
Becoming a Parent has taught me that none of us escapes making mistakes. In one way or another, we all fuck up our children. Perhaps the best we can do is fuck them up as gently, honestly and lovingly as possible, and remain willing to heal alongside them.
Too many of the limits we carry were never truly ours. They were inherited from Parents trying to protect us through the lens of their own wounds, and from systems that slowly condition innocence into obedience.
But the child remains.
Find them.
Take their hand. Listen to them. Forgive them. Protect them. Let them play.
Love your inner child.
And learn to become the Parent you once needed.
I FUCKING LOVE YOU!